THE INVISIBLE MAN

 THE INVISIBLE MAN

Have you ever wished that the earth would just swallow you alive. That you would just disappear in thin air and never ever existed. These are some of the thoughts that I get and I'm even sure some of you do. When life gives you lemons but your unable to make lemonade. You start questioning your life purpose and reason you exist.

That you would just be a passer by in this world rather than someone who exist in this earth and have a "normal" life or whatever our parents, parents parents', uncles and concerned aunts or it could just be that family friend trying to find out the latest scoop of your life. Like you owe him or her that much.

I know what you're thinking that I am a pessimist and I have automatic negative thinking sorry to burst your bubble but I am not a pessimist in fact I am quite the opposite. It is just that the negatives outweigh the positive sometimes. When you don't see a clear path in your life and everything is blurry so you get worried and go on panic mode. And whatever you planned on doing never gets done because you are paralyzed from the feet up.

"But that is being lazy" you say but it's not that I am lazy it is more of an outcome of stressed coupled with an antagonizing force of conundrums leading you in a downward spiral without even knowing who you are.

Disclaimer, I have been in many cases or situations where  psychiatrists are involved whether it has been post suicide or pre hospitalized. "But depression doesn't exist you say" well it's kind of controversial some people think depression is a cry for attention others say its a mental health disorder but being an African and especially being from Africa. Mental illness is like a myth. That's why I am writing this blog to destigmatize mental health in East Africa and Africa as a whole.

You can't compare someone who doesn't have any mental disorder to someone who has one like for example me with schizoaffective disorder. I think about suicide more than anything else the fact that I can just kill myself and not exist to me is a horrible idea it's not like I want to think that way it's the way my brain is just wired. From depression to having auditory hallucinations the list goes on.

What I am simply trying to say is that your mental health is simply like your physical health they are totally different but also very similar. Listen I am not a certified medical practitioner in psychology but I do have the experience and life story of how I've seen things play out in my life.

 So welcome to my blog and let's learn and engage with each other.

Tony.muchoki.MyLife.2025(©)